We are very…..anxious…at the moment.
About everything, more or less. Politics, the environment, the economy, our kids’ mental health, whether our boosters will work, racial justice, gas prices, too much remote work, too much back in the office, democracy, guns…..
It’s all legit. There is a lot going on.
It’s hard to focus on the day-to-day and keep moving forward.
After a couple of years of uncertainty, loss, and recalibrating, it seems as though we are….still dealing with uncertainty, loss, and recalibrating. We just can’t seem to catch a break.
And yet very little in the list above is actually within our direct, daily control (perhaps with the exception of how much we work remotely). In other words, we’re feeling a lot of anxiety but without being able to apply immediate solutions.
It’s hard not to feel anxiety about all these things because, if you’re even a marginally caring person, most of the things above are things you’d like to take part in fixing! You want to help save democracy, make your booster work better, make politicians civil, take the assault weapons away. Of course we do!
But we can’t. Or at least not today. There are small things we can do about all of the above - we can vote, we can support organizations, we can write letters, we can drive a little less, we can recycle our plastic. But none of those will make the issues go away today.
So, if we want to be less anxious (and it’s making us stressed out and sick, so I think we should), we have to care a little less.
I don’t mean that we should ignore the world and find a nice cave to hang out in, and I don’t mean that we should callously disregard suffering, or give up on helping or doing our part, but rather step back and decide to focus on what is the most important and most impactful work we can do.
We can’t care more about something important if we’re anxious about e v e r y t h i n g. There just isn’t a human capacity that can handle all that. We simply have to prioritize.
We have to ask ourselves, what do I care about more than the other things? (which might change over time by the way), and what is my highest point of personal influence that doesn’t deplete me?
It’s easy to feel pressure (from friends, or from social media) to DO stuff and to share your opinions, and to join things, and to sign petitions, and, and, and, and……
I’m all for action. But a little bit of anxious action in 50 different things doesn’t help very much and it definitely doesn’t help you. You are a better force for the good in the world when you’re whole and happy, and when you’re engaged in the things that are very meaningful for you…..and which often give you pleasure.
Caring doesn’t have to be a grind. In fact, I’d argue that more often than not, it should make you smile. When you find your peeps and your cause or your purpose, you should not feel apologetic about not engaging in all the other things at the same level. We have to trust that there are enough of us to go round.
Do your best work. Then go for a walk in the woods, or have some lunch on the porch in the sunshine, so you can be rested and reminded of what it looks like living in your world right now. And then come back and do more of your best work. Not scattered, anxious worrying, but real work on something you care most about.
That’s how we solve things.
Wow. I feel like this was written specifically for me, your enneagram 4 friend over here drowning in all her feels. :-)
“And then come back and do more of your best work. Not scattered, anxious worrying, but real work on something you care most about....That’s how we solve things.”
Love this....